Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Up, up and away

Finally, I can sit in my comfy armchair and blog about the events that happened this past week. Didn't really have time to blog about my life although everyday I told myself I wanted to.
It's been such a tiring and hectic week, didn't really have time to catch a breather. Assignments and projects kept coming one after another, seems like it's never ending. Sigh...

I'll start my post on from that Saturday. IHope was on the day but only manage to reach there in time for the last session which is at 4p.m. was held up by usual soccer trainings and friendly in the morning and so turned up late for that event. Heard from the rest of my church mates that Sy Rogers was a very good speaker. After hearing that 4p.m. talk from him, I felt it too. What he mentioned and told everyone, sounds so real and realistic. What had happened to him in the past, he spoke about it, and that seems to match what I'm experiencing now>> something that breaks your heart, something that has drawn you away from God, some things that you are really guilty of, some things that you can't seem to forgive, some things that had really changed you and some things that had brought you to a lost world.
I was really touched by his words, besides that his words was so powerful that it broken my heart once again, and what's left behind is those little shattered pieces. But this time round, it will be different. I've decided to turn over a new leaf, start of a new beginning, beginning of a new life, a new and changed identity, a new glimpse of hope, a new commitment to everyone else and most importantly God. Hopefully, i'm reborn through it.

And that comes the next day which was a Sunday. That day was suppose to go church for class and service, besides I'm on duty for PA for the second, well I missed that entire day, only but to lock myself home to finish up on my 2000 words essay. The blame can't be on me for not turning up, you have to see things in my point of view, practical, tutorials, checkpoints, group work all happening on that particular few days of that week, and how I am able to fork out for even just a little time for my ebf essay. It's impossible I guess! So, I'd to settle on the final two days of the submission date. And to a huge relieve, I've completed it on time and it was like 7 or 8 at night already. So you see people, it costs me so much time.
Finish the dinner parent's packet for me and off to bed...

It was such a beautiful Monday morning, early workout and a gift to see the sun rise near the lake. Such an amazing sight!
And whoo, off to school. It was a long day, programming skills in the morning, designing classes in the afternoon and last on the list ecommerce business in the late afternoon. Everything ended, but that thought of having to attend a briefing really kills me. I've got no choice or whatsoever but to attend it. The briefing is regarding about the camp I'm involved with on the 15th and 16th of June at republic poly known as "world famine camp" organized by world vision. Signed up with another friend to be one of the 45 committee members after knowing that the camp itself it's quite enriching and also educational. Overall, it was great and I'm quite looking forward to that 850 participant’s camp. Sounds so fun! And as per normal, reached home quite late. Had my dinner and off to bed.

Here comes the next day, TUESDAY! School started at 9a.m., had db revision in the morning for the exam tomorrow. Ordered Mac with the girls and had lunch at square. Went for business lesson after that finished up two case study and we were dismissed from class. Supposed to have training today but was excused having to sit for paper tomorrow. Dine out with parents and then back home mugging on database. Didn't know what time I'd slept, dozed off half-way I guess.

Today's the Wed..; it was kind of an intensive training where we focused only on programming the entire day. From morning till afternoon, we just kept doing practical and tutorial, I tell you its madness... sooner or later i'll go crazy and perhaps need a new pair of glasses for poor vision.
Sit for db paper after all the chionging, so glad to hear that it was an open book exam, so didn't really worry too much. Most people came without even revising but dependable on the book and the group of us found ourselves lucky to come prepared. Saw some people struggling as not everything came from the book, but we found it rather easy. Anyway, thanks to those who had helped when we were studying together.

Having said so much, I just wanna end my long post here and off for a break from everything. But before that, I have one more reflection to be completed and submitted by today. So yeah, after that I'm free! for now, =( hehe.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Ngee Ann Floorball
>>Home of the scarecrows

Just gotten my floorball stick from the captain a couple of days ago. So cool man!
Having to be fully equipped, i went to queensway today to get my kid, fbt shorts for guys and a pair of court shoes.
Looking forward for my training tomorrow and i guess it's gonna be tough but no matter what, will give my best for the team. Yeah! The cheer and bonding session we will have every training. So cool, so majestic, everyone with one voice with the cheer...
Hooray scarecrows!
Anyway, president just announced that there will be physical training on everyday tuesday and skills training on thursday, =).
We have upcoming competition at october, and i guess it's time now for us to really focus on trainings and that we will win that competition. But before that, we need to get into the IVP team, and so i'll worked my very best to get into the starting lineup and represent our school for that major event, bring glory to ngee ann.

I hope for the best and that my energy won't burned out. =)

Monday, May 21, 2007

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?


>>i miss you so!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Seniors held up, junior ease through

Senior team
- guys( me, ernest, joshua, ervine, en shao, matthew, edric, brandon, fu xing, ting yu, )
girls( my sister, amenda, eudora, yi jie and beatrice )
Scores
>>
Queenstown Methodist 16 - Geylang Methodist Team 2 18
Queenstown Methodist 8 - Hinghwa Methodist Team 1 1
Queenstown Methodist 15 - Toa Payoh Methodist 8
Queenstown Methodist 2 - Geylang Methodst Team 1 16
Queenstown Methodist 6 - Hinghwa Methodist Team 2 8

Junior team
- guys( ervine, jun xian, torsten, tuck heng, tuck yan, issac )
girls( my sister, eudora and eunice )
Scores
>>
Queenstown Methodist 25 - Toa Payoh Methodist 4
Queenstown Methodist 25 - Hinghwa 3
Queenstown Methodist 30 - Toa Payoh Methodist 8
Queenstown Methodist 21 - Hinghwa 9


yeah, captain's ball was fun.. The atmosphere was great. Cheers were heard all over, although the aunties were kind of irritated by those noises as they were having their folk dance lessons. But still, we didn't kept quiet as we motivated both our teams.
Seniors had to undergo priliminary rounds again on the actual day while the juniors had already booked their place in the quarters.
A step closer to that trophy and glory, but so near yet so far, so come on qcmc!

Friday, May 18, 2007

More coming up...

Yesterday, floor ball training was tough as expected. Ran 6 rounds the track and some warming up and picking up on the new skills. Was pretty fun after all, and we had games after the usual training.
Captain wanted all of the boys to get a floor ball stick each for personal use and that we could use it both for trainings and the upcoming matches which will be in October. Ordered ‘spirit’ stick, just paid for it and yeah! , I could collect in on Tuesday. Guess I’m really committed to this sport already and hopefully with all the hard work, our team can get a medal in return.

Floor call captain told the whole team that we are supposed to have intensive physical training every Tuesday instead of just the usual Thursday trainings we have. Basically, it’s just for us to improve on our stamina and stuff. I’ve managed to negotiate with them and they have allowed me to not turn up for that Tuesday as it clashes with my dance sports. At first, I was being held up by both, and had to sacrifice one sports CCA. But now, I’m happy that I can be in both CCAs and that I could prove to myself that I can excel in both.

Fell in love with both after several meetings and that really sparked me up.
Hmm. School ended at 3 today. Went town with yong yang to get some stuff and we were on way to ACS Barker. Went there with him for some musical thingy put up by Temasek Junior College. Didn’t really want to go as I was kind of tired and had to get my FBTs tonight with dad. But still, I dragged myself there, and he was there to support a friend.
The choir was great and their voices were like ‘wooh!’ The musical at the finale was nice too, the dance and the music coordinated well and the overall effect did bring some amusement and entertainment to the audience, and I really thought the job was well done.

Rushed home for quick dinner and caught a little of bit of television. More to come tomorrow. Soccer training in the morning, studying at grandma’s place with cousin in the afternoon and captain’s ball in the evening. It will be a very tiring day for me. Guess it’s time for me to have a good night's sleep. Night.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Busy, Busy!

Hmm, speaking about school and stuff, there’s a lot of things I could blog more about.

Rahh!!! Was late for school yet again, not because have I overslept, but the reason being there's a heavy traffic jam down at AYE where the accident on lane 3 and 4 causes pretty much obstruction. Lesson started at 9a.m., and I only manage to get there at 9.45, teacher was so nice, he didn't utter a word or even scold me for being late and besides that he allowed to sign my attendance, I doubt other lecturers would do such a thing.

Lesson ended at 3. I have plenty of time, probably until 6 as I was supposed to attend the talk on community service. I signed up with a friend yesterday before dance practice, just because CCA points will be awarded. But after attending the talk, I had a better understanding of community service; it's whereby you can contribute to the society by being a social worker, joining social workgroups, helping out in the environment and especially people who are in need of help in a way or another.
People might think doing social service all the time will be bored for them. But not to worry, various clubs will organize camps, events, outings, etc... so that besides working, we could have some time for bonding with group or fellow club members. And in addition, through the cca we could develop leadership skills where we could be part of the committee planning for those activities.
PASSION SNERGY offers 6 different clubs, but I'm only interested in 2, therefore I signed myself up for those 2 clubs. Surely, I'll be even busier than now. The 2 clubs are BB PRIMERS and ENVIRONMENT RANGERS SOCIETY. Hmm... my aim was to get 72 cca points within the 3 years but more importantly I hope I would gain and learn something out of it.

During my break, a guy of Reggie approaches me, and was told to do a survey. But through our conversation, what I realized was he was from 'Singapore Youth for Christ', searching for fellow Christian like me in the campus to join them for their events and prayer session every week. 1 more activity on the list! Anyway, we had a pretty nice chat and I agreed to do with him street evangelism in our school next tuesday. And definitely, it will be fun.

Reached home about 9, watch awhile of hong kong drama on television, and right now I'm sitting right in front of my laptop blogging and at the same time planning my planner. Oh, and I just realized my june is packed. So I guess no Malacca trip with parents and some of the church people already unless they can push it forward to like maybe before the 2nd week of june. My june's schedule will be as followed, but not finalize yet.
14th-16th Fusion Camp, 20th- 22 th Dance Camp, 23rd Dance Nationals (optional) and 30th Big Hooha. But I guess I left out some of it, I will include them in when they are confirmed. =) pretty much excited...
Yeah, what a month it will be!

Floor ball training tomorrow, off to catch some sleep. Zzz.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Start Of Something New

It had came down to the worse, my days are numbered, I'm supposed it's time for me to leave.

It started after quarreling with my sister over dinner, during the conversation, I found and realize how ugly people can be. Where's the brothers' and sisters' taught in church? In my opinion I supposed, the qcmc I once knew and fell in love with had changed. I've tried my best to bring every of us together, but it just doesn't seem to work out. For what I see, other churches don't encounter such of a problem. But you would say, "come on la, everyone has flaws and certainly our church does too", come to think again it is not exactly untrue, it just different...different from the past.

I could no longer tolerate and bear that pressure I'm facing now which I still don't really know exactly where it came from. And that only by leaving, it's the best solution to all. I have some churches in mind already which I attended quite a few times there already, and I suppose that will be my next alternatives.
I'm finding it real hard to step in there but I'll try my very best.

All in all, for I can say, sorry guys! I have to end it real soon. I need a environment, a new identity, a start of something new!

Take care and god bless, my beloved qcmc.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

母亲节快乐!

在我成长岁月里, 妈妈扮演了一个很重要的角色
她让我感受到了家庭的温暖
他也让我享受到了伟大的母爱
他也给予了我无微不至的照顾

在我最悲伤的时候，有你的依靠
在我最空虚的时候，有你的陪伴
在我忧愁的时候，你试着让我忘掉烦恼
而在我快乐的时候，有你与我分享喜悦

这些都让我体会到了幸福，满足

我可以说在这十九年来，我们经历了不少风风雨雨
如刚才所说
有欢笑，有泪水，又生气，又担忧，有忧愁，有感动
在这些过程里，我相信彼此的感情会变得更深， 更密切

小时候美好的时光，我永远纯在心里
至于将来，我以交托给上帝，让主带领
我在这也希望我么能够相处得很好，让家庭充满温馨，打造出更美好的未来

谢谢你妈妈！辛苦了！
母亲节快乐！

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Way Back Into Love

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end



...with much <3!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Twisting and Turning

Mixing and matching,
Twisting and turning,
Hoping and praying,
Dreaming and considering,
Never knowing yet always knowing,
Wanting to, yet not wanting to,
Mixing my heart,Matching my soul to yours,
Twisting fate with the flick of the wrist,
Turning my life over,
Hoping that it would end,
Praying that it never would stop,
Thinking it was over,
Wishing that it wasn't,
Dreaming of its coming,
Considering letting it steal within
Never knowing if it's true,
Always knowing that it's there.
Wanting to live in the light,
Not wanting the light to come,
The love of another
The dreams of someone close,
Remembering what you used to feel,
Can it come back if you pray so?

Monday, May 07, 2007

A thousand thoughts

My mind is filled with a thousand thoughts. Gazing at the stars outside the window, I started to ponder about the happenings recently.
Looking back, life seems to be so simple yet perfect. In the past, I was a cheerful and active person, nothing seems to bring me down and I always believe that we should live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment of it. Happy and smiling from the bottom of my heart with such joy that I could find in those happenings and events.

But now, everything seems to be so complicated. I just felt like I had lost this battle, my heart and soul are in turmoil. I'm tossed into confusion and fear for myself. I'm a weakling, I can vouch for it. I failed to take over my own emotions, and it's hard to fake a smile where my lips could barely open.
A tear falls and I realize life will never be the same again. Another tear came down and I know it's too late for everything. I'm not whom I used to be. I can neither smile nor weep, and what's left in me are sorrows and sadness. Let the past become the memories for tomorrow, but am I determined to do that?

Oh man, I'm getting way to emo, = ( . For now, I truly understand that tears are words from the heart that can't be spoken.

To summarize...

My emotions are no longer tainted with reason.
The light laughters that bubbles on my lip often mantles over the depth of sadness, and the serious look may be sober veil that comes a divine peace and joy, in the night, it will be a painful frivolity, sleeping in the cold night's arms.

We never understand how little we need in this world until we know the loss of it. The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we waited for so long to begin it. The greatness comes not when things go the way you wanted, but the greatness comes when you are really tested, when you took some knocks, some disappointments, and the experience of setbacks. If only you have been into the deepest valley, you will know and understand how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.
Feelings aren't supposed to be logical. There's a lot to be said for self delusionment when it comes to matters of the heart. There is a time for departure even where there is no certain place you could head to. Some of us may think that holding on makes us feel stronger; but sometimes it's letting go instead.

I don't know whether the decision to preserver on was the right decision? But for whatever it is, I hope for the best.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

The 6th! A day not to rememberd!

The rain just never seems to bring the joy,
I feel the same everlasting pain of my loss remains
My heart, can't seem to learn to part the hold you left the mark
All that I dreamed of now it seems so dark
Though I told myself won't hold my breath a part of me was dying
There is nothing left for me to do now, but give in

If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and you'll know, I'd never let you go

The way, you left me there alone
I don't know what to say as I remembered everything on that day
I just can't believe what had happened
And surely that wasn't what I really wanted
To have that commitment ended

Friday, May 04, 2007

Raahhh!

Holiday mood starts to set as E-learning week commends today, but instead I'm sad to hear that more homework are given instead than what could possibly be yet another vacation or maybe at least some free time to actually have a break or something. As you can remember I mentioned in my previous post, I'm still constantly faced with plenty of pressure, for that includes commitment to the team for the core modules and electives with CCAs in the list too.

I seriously feel that the team needs teamwork and participation is definitely needed from each and every member of the group and so much so for contributions. With that in mind even though the workload is huge and heavy, I'm glad that the team was there for me and that everyone is working their very best to complete the tasks given to each individual. Playing a huge role in it doesn't seem easy, as an example if any serious mistakes made or internal problems found within the group, team leader will be held responsible for everything or even the team's downfall. I'm relief my group wasn't what I'd imagined. I had a terrible experience back then last semester cos I was in an unorganized and slacked team, hah!, and that causes some very serious problem, woo.. bad memories.
Thank God for the guidance and strength that brought me through everything and that wasn't a worrying factor for me as I'm coping well with school work and doing well academically.

And for now, what worries me is that little injury I suffered couple of days back, a serious pain on my left arm has been showing symptoms already as red patches can be seen everywhere round that area, poor me!! And in addition I can't carry heavy object and can't exercise too vigorously. Sigh!...hope I'll recover soon and back to floor ball training. Boo! I miss the training yesterday due to this. haha Even though its just one training session, the whole team was greatly missed. Hope to see you guys soon!

Hai!!! , slept the whole day today due to lack of sleep as I was rushing my assignment late last night. And sadly I didn't participate in the crusade camp though was invited to attend the camp, joining them for their bbq, worship, prayer and bonding session through games. But never can I pull myself out of the bed as and that soft pillow of mine, it was so nice and comfortable. And surely, Daniel must be disappointed with that. But nevertheless, I'll join your guys for L.M next week and we'll do more catching up. As for those freshies going for the camp, hope you'll enjoy yourself there.

Writing till here, I would really like to thank those people who did cared and show your concern by giving me such big encouragement, for I can say that boosted me quite a lot. Now, with my battery fully charged, oil tank filled (stupid description =)), wahaha, and surely I'm ready for more and possibly another battle.
Hmm.., something important seems to be amiss, possibly that little extra… am still quite uncertain what lies ahead.

Thanks sandy for this lovely song!

Truth
Let me stay with you
Why is it that we want it so much
Even though we hurt one another?
Don't you know my heart?
I couldn't even be myself
I just want a single love...

I want to believe in the miracles that we've encountered
And play a melody for you
Even if I were to lose everything
These memories would be forever
It's my truth

Believe in yourself
In the times when you fall, just kept on walking, wiping away the tears
Open up your heart
Up ahead in your memories, certainly there is a hope called tomorrow

Give me your loneliness
And I'll give you my tenderness
Don't forget about the dreams you had on that day
Even if we're apart, I'll always feel
Only you, in my heart
It's my truth

The scattered stars whisper
As they shine down on my lost heart
Meetings and partings, people search for them
One day, we'll be able to tie a strong bond between one another

It's alright to accept all of the sadness
From all around the world, if it's for you
And even if I'm left behind by all of the rest of the world
I'll still believe in

The truth

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Profile

Cong Kai
30.08.88
ngee ann poly
qcmc, fcbc
HIGH 5
campus crusade for christ
ngee ann floorball
ngee ann environment rangers society
ngee ann bb primers
ngee ann navigators
ngee ann choir
limcongkai7@hotmail.com

love playing the guitar
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