Thursday, May 03, 2007

Falling, Breaking apart

What a busy week it has been for me. Assignments, projects and the loads of CCA commitments has certainly drained all my energy and symptoms of having headaches, tummy aches and even drowsiness have already been shown, I believe all theses are signs of falling sick soon. I refuse to go to the doctor for checkups as I continue to fight against the sickness and hope that I will overcome everything.

The heavy workload, surely it's driving me crazy. We are given so little time for homework and yet I'm facing deadlines everyday. Trainings end so late everyday, and that creates more problems, rushed home to finish up on the homework given and straight to bed after that. Surely that isn't what I want, but I know I have to work hard for everything and that my team members need me as i'm needed to hold the team together, I can't just fall so easily. Just pray that everything works out well and that my effort wouldn’t go to waste.

But besides being so positive about things, negatives times did come too. That little setback weeks ago did draw me back a little and it had caused me a quite a few problems already. I thought I'd managed to overcome everything, but instead I was totally wrong. I seem to have fallen much deeper.
Although it happened long enough that everyone could have forgotten about it, but it still bugs me every now and then when I'm alone or in a daze. I just feel that it's some kind of spell cast on me that I would never get out of.
It's not a bad thing after all, yes it sure isn't! I used that little "emo" time that I possibly wouldn't have, to do some reflections and perhaps to have some personal time with God.
People, verses and many other things surely pulled me through the darkest times of my life. Thank God for all that!

We bound to face challenges and setbacks in life, but we must learn to overcome everything and find solutions to it. I know I had to get on with my life, continue to pursue that aim and ambition I've set for myself… and just pin on that little hope that my dream may come true eventually.

And for now,
looking out of the window, gazing at that dark pitched sky, seeing those little raindrops as they starts to fall, images has already started flowing through my mind, how I wish that didn't really ended for me and that time wouldn't pass that fast. I just can't control my tears as it rolls down my cheeks, I'm feeling so terrible... I'm outta here!

A song to sum everything up.


因为

总在回家时候不知所措

想再打电话给你 可是再见刚刚才说过

有一种想要拥抱你的冲动　想静静看著你的笑容

让你藏在怀中　直到我每天的尽头

因为想一个人而寂寞 因为爱一个人而温柔

因为有一个梦而执著 因为等一个人而折磨

因为想一个人而解脱 因为爱一个人而宽容

因为有一个梦而放纵 因为等一个人而漂泊

因为想一个人而寂寞 因为爱一个人而温柔

像夜的朦拢　你的深情难懂

我的世界因为你而不同 因为想一个人而解脱　

因为爱一个人而宽容 像风的自由

你的深情难留你的背影　是我最美丽的所有

it got me home
9:55 PM